he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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