Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
