the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
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