i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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