I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
