O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
