You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
