we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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