I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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