The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
