redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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