it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
