Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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