We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
