ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
