Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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