and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
