So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
