don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize