Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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