i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He? As in you personified your dick?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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