Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
