The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
