And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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