We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
