shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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