his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize