Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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