K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
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