He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
