shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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