She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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