I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
