Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
be right there i have to get my cape
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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