I think i peed on brittanys purse
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
