he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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