The police scanner is talking about you again....
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
