dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
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