Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
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