I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
