This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
