Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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