I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
