just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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