on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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