I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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