I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
