I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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