accomplished twins. life is a go
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
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