Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
