omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize