Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
