he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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