Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
