When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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