I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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