i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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