Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Randomize
