sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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