Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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