Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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