i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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