i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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