i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
