He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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