hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
